Nobody Cares

who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares

I am nobody.

Time was when I lived with love
someone who adored who I was
Time passed and we went our ways
now there are just lonely days

love is a worship
when it is true
unconditional
given to you

love is a power
given away
total control
every day

And back and forth and back and forth and back and forth
like the best game we can play
love is a circle
sharing is love's way
sharing caring
sharing being
being aware
everywhere
love is amazing
what can we say
sharing everything
in every way
every day

who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares

I am nobody.

Time was when I lived in love
Nothing else could rise above
Time passed and love passed away
now there are just lonely days

days of longing
longing for love
days of wanting
wanting to live
days of hoping
hoping for love
days of being
without love
days of wishing
wishing for love
days of sharing
sharing the love
days of caring
caring is love
days of dreaming
dreaming of love

I live dreaming of being in love
I am being in love

who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares
who cares?
nobody cares

I am nobody.

All We Need Is...

What happened to the innocence?
Is it buried in mistrust?
When there's too much pain inside
even the heart can rust

the layers of betrayal and
abandonment takes time
and even love can suffocate
the saddest of all crime

to forget how to trust
to forget how to love
to forget what life's about
and all we need is...
all we're dreaming of

when there's too much pain inside
the lips don't want to kiss
love becomes just routine sex
deeper sharing is missed

I can find a lover too
can even find a friend
security comes from deep inside
on that I can depend

but sincerity is rare
and trust is rarer still
honesty is all but gone
yet all we need is...
and I always will.

What happened to the innocence?
What happened to the trust?
What happened to the dream of love?
When did it go bust?

the layers of betrayal and
abandonment takes time
and even love can suffocate
the saddest of all crime

to forget how to trust
to forget how to love
to forget what life's about
and all we need is...
all we're dreaming of

when there's too much pain inside
the heart ceases to dream
life just goes through the motions
as sad as that may seem

and maybe this relates to you
sounds familiar or not
no one can remember what
they buried and forgot

but sometimes late at night alone
like a haunting refrain
something calls from deep within
and all we need is...
is it love or pain?

oh sometimes late at night alone
a glimpse of memory
almost comes back to my mind
all we need is...
will you sing it with me?

Not Tonght

But I just don't feel like feeling sad tonight

knock knock who cares
knock knock who shares
knock knock who's there?

some nights I don't even make it to bed
there are so many words left in my head
but I am tired of the way I'm sitting
(and tired of the way I'm shitting)
and I'm not shitting you
no really
it's not your fault you do not get the joke
maybe it was something never spoke
or a pig in a poke

But I just don't feel like feeling sad tonight
so I am laughing at all these words I write
even at this early hour
after an almost hot and steamy shower
I don't begrudge anything or anyone
like a cactus flower
daring life
in the desert sun

sometimes the way in is the way out
don't ask me what that is all about
all I can tell you is we are here right now
and if you want to care, I can show you how

though I can't make you drink
and I can't make you think
and I can't make you feel
I can be real

and if you want to care
and if you want to share
then just come and sit here
lean on me
just be still
you will see
if you will
give it time

all you have to do is leave your fears behind

make the choice to be here
become aware
you can care
you can share
and the answer will appear
it's a choice
use your voice
if you will...

just sit here
lean on me
and be still.

LP 45

I hope someday to find someone who understands how I love
The way I care the way I share the way I choose to live without fear
I hope someday to find someone who lives the dream I’m dreaming of
Then we could make that dream come true
I wonder if that someone could be you?

I hope someday to find someone who understands the way I feel
The way I live the way I give our survival depends on it
What we need to do is choose to do it... to make it real
Then we could all truly live in peace
And enjoy The full power of our lives release

Don’t give into fear
Fear only leads to confusion and hate
Logic disappears
That leaves you in a dangerous state
Just empower your love
The awareness that can bring
Will let you understand
You are part of every thing

you can do good, you can do harm, it is a simple choice
a choice that you make everyday with your hands and your voice
You can shirk responsibility, pretend you have no control
And depend on others outside of yourself
to somehow protect your body and soul

You can’t believe anything you want to believe
When deny everything that is true
But in the end whether you see it or not
It has all been up to you
Everything you do
is up to you.

I hope someday to find someone who understands how I love
The way I share the way I care the way I won’t give into fear
Together we could Live a life that everyone dreams of

And it wouldn’t come out of the blue
It would simply be doing what’s true.

Love is stronger than fear
Love feels better than fear
Love is why we are here
We can all be aware
of how good it feels to care
All we have to do is share.
And choose love over fear.

Maybe Not

The question was was this brilliant?

who's gonna love me when I'm old and gray
when I not too far off from my dying day
who's gonna be there in the final years
will I be alone with my laughter and tears?

who's gonna carry my coffin to the burning fire?
who's gonna cremate me when I expire?
and in those tough times when the end is near
who's gonna be the one who'll still be there?

all I ever wanted in this life was love
to love and be loved is what I always dream of
giving everything away gave my my sweetest joy
so why am I ending up such a lonely boy?

and in the final years I want to know
who's gonna be there to just be there, you know?
(who's gonna be there just to be there, yo?)

don't give up hope on finding love someday
that's what I hear a voice inside me say
but there's a sad child wondering if I
will be alone the rest of this life and why
will I be alone when I finally die?

who's gonna love me when I'm down and out
when there's no more spunk left in my sprout
when gravity pulls harder than I can grow
who's gonna be there when it's time to go

and in the final years I want to know
who's gonna be there to help me let go?

who's gonna be there to sing harmony?
who's gonna be there to make history?
who's gonna be there to share love with me?
I don't want my last feeling to be lonely

who's gonna be there when I'm no longer strong
who's gonna be there to finish this song
who's gonna be there...

and in the final years I really want to know
who's gonna be there to share
who's gonna be there to care
who's gonna be there to enjoy the show
in the final years I really want to know
who's gonna be there...

All By Myself (Revisited)

There was a timeless time
I never needed anyone
I wasn't living on the run
what have I become

in case it matters to you
I still believe that life is fun
and I will not carry a gun
I believe in love
(it's all I've got)

love love love


Then came a time time time
I was so lost behind fear
if you can find a path that's clear
you might see me disappear
no one comes near

lost lost lost



I don't know why
nobody told me
they bought and sold me
with no way out

but my love remained
the dream was reframed
after the fall

and moodswings come on
lightning and thunder
there is still wonder
after all

there are places I remember
from the world outside head
babbling offered me a literary escape

I kept my promise
to love for ever
come whatever
heat or chill

and I always will
still

Am I Worth Knowing?

Am I worth knowing?
once upon a time
I was adored
that doesn't happen anymore

Am I worth loving?
once upon a time
I was embraced
that sort of thing has been replaced

I live alone
I sleep alone
No one comes near me anymore

I laugh alone
I cry alone
no one knows me at my core

there was a time when I was treasured as a friend
when someone wanted to be close to me all the time
there was a time people said there'd be no end
to the love we shared that made life so sublime

now after years of rejection I am wondering
am I worth knowing?
no one seems to want to sing the song I sing
am I worth knowing?

it's a sad song today
a lonely song today
creativity wanes
I'm drowning in pains

so lonely, so sad
did I do something bad
what happened to
all the friends I had

what happened to love
and people who cared
they drifted away
now nobody's here

I live alone
I sleep alone
No one comes near me anymore

I laugh alone
I cry alone
no one knows me at my core

now after years of reflection I am wondering
am I worth knowing?
no one seems to want to sing the song I sing
am I worth knowing?

Am I worth knowing?
once upon a time
I was adored
that doesn't happen anymore

Am I worth loving?
once upon a time
I was embraced
that sort of thing has been replaced

I live alone
I sleep alone
No one comes near me anymore

I laugh alone
I cry alone
no one knows me at my core

Who Cares!

Some times it is such a sad lament moaning in the wilderness of emptiness and loneliness
some times it is a joyous declaration of independence without need for anyone or anything
do you understand what I mean when I say who cares?
some times a question with desperate tears
some times a revelation of freedom - who cares

who cares if anyone knows me
who cares if anyone cares
who cares if no one ever shows me
who cares, who cares

who cares if anyone feels me
who cares if anyone shares
who cares if no one ever loves me
who cares, who cares

once you are aware
this life is just a moment
blink your eyes and it's gone
almost everyone who ever lived
is forgotten in this moment
you can let go of need and carry on

just enjoy what you are doing
the friendly laughter
let go of worries
about the ever after
the food you're chewing
the sights you're seeing
and all you are feeling
and all you are being
in this very moment
you can be aware
this is all there is
right now, right here

so who cares if anyone knows
who cares if anyone cares
who cares if no one ever shows
who cares, who cares

who cares if anyone feels
who cares if anyone shares
who cares if no one ever loves
who cares, who cares
who cares

just enjoy what you are doing
just enjoy the one you're with
just enjoy yourself if you're alone
just being here is a gift
just embrace this moment
just feel everything
it could all be gone in a moment
so enjoy this moment
make the most of this moment
be alive in this moment
be here, aware
right now, right here

who cares if anyone knows
who cares if anyone cares
who cares if no one ever shows
who cares, who cares

who cares if anyone feels
who cares if anyone shares
who cares if no one ever loves
who cares, who cares
who cares

Is Anybody Out There?

Night after night I sit here writing the story of my life
all the details, cheers and fails, that I want to share with a wife
longing for love is aching above anything else can do
can you tell me this song does not relate to you
tell me it's not true

is anybody out there?
does anybody feel the way I feel?
is it my imagination?
this hunger for love seems so real

is anybody out there?
are you really listening to this song?
if this life is so full of love
not sharing it must be wrong

it feels so wrong
to be alone every night when I start to dream
it feels so right
when someone is holding me close

it feels so good
to know somebody is there for me
so why am I sitting here writing this song
when what I want to do most

is fall in love
who wants to fall in love?

oh, is anybody out there?
does anybody feel this way tonight
can anybody feel me?
can you relate to these words I write

does anybody hear me?
I am singing this song to you
is anybody out there?
all I want to do

is fall in love
who wants to fall in love?
just fall in love

is anybody out there?...

I Want More Tonight

I want more tonight
I want war tonight
I want peace tonight
I want release tonight

But wanting doesn't get you what you want
so we settle for something else
drink or drugs or food or sex or money or power
anything but the self

I want more love
I want more truth
I want more fun
I want more youth
I want more trust
I want more sharing
I want more warmth
I want more caring

But wanting doesn't get you what you want
so we settle for something else
drink or drugs or food or sex or money or power
anything but the self

who cares
always looking on the outside
who cares
must start on the inside
who cares
may be the words most often cried
who cares
it's a roller coaster ride

wanting is an ache
caring is a break
most people just fake it
some people just take it
every moment living
I am always giving
wanting someone giving
every moment living

But wanting doesn't get you what you want
so we settle for something else
drink or drugs or food or sex or money or power
anything but the self

Pass it over here I'll take some more
If this is all we are living for
It is easier than sharing our hearts
This is where it ends... or starts

I want more love
I want more truth
I want more fun
I want more youth
I want more trust
I want more sharing
I want more warmth
I want more caring

Asking Too Much

When I ask... who cares?
am I asking too much?
staring at the silence in your eyes

All you show are fears
when I reach out to touch
you seem to be comfortable with lies

you run from honest love
and defend your pretenses
truly unconditional love
just fires up your defenses

and the open giving heart
is used, abused, or taken for granted
except in fairy tales
where we pretend love is enchanted

When I ask... who cares?
is it too many questions?
tacit acceptance of mutual disguise

All you show are fears
in your passive rejections
protected by caution painted wise

you run from honest love...

maybe another chorus and refrain
will come before the question
comes around again

maybe another reason and a rhyme
will excuse the wasted love
and waste of time

...

..

.

Just Another Heart (Learned To Lie)

just another heart
torn up by love
trusted too much
pray to above
for some kind of healing
and some kind of feeling
to return
let it burn

just another soul
broken by love
hoped for forever
wasn't enough
to keep on living
to keep on giving
one more day
let it stay

but there is no hope left in me now
i fake it as if i still know how
there is no faith left up on my shelf
how can there be when i don't trust myself?

just another heart
given to love
all of my trust
all i dreamed of
beyond my reach now
without why or how
i am gone
carry on

for there is no hope for me anymore
i paint a happy face on my door
but it is closed and no one knows
without trust the inner truth never shows

there is no saving grace
there is no peaceful place
there is no dream to chase
there is no smiling face
unless you lie
so learn to lie

just another heart
waiting for love
hoping for trust
praying above
just another soul
waiting for love
hoping for trust
praying above
just another soul
no how or why
just another heart
learned to lie
learned to lie
learned to lie

just another heart
waiting for love
hoping for trust
praying above

Love Song For Me (To my BFF)

I want to stay in touch with you much closer than we seem to do
but that just does not seem the way it was meant to be
I sometimes ask "what's wrong with me!" and "is there something wrong with me?"
for you should fall in love with me (and I don't mean romantically)
but just because I want to be so good to people just like you

The heart knows how much joy there is in helping someone and yet
why do I feel like I never quite got through to you?
maybe you depended on me too much and it got uncomfortable
or maybe I just asked too much from you I wish I knew

maybe we are just too much alike with the same weaknesses
maybe that is all in my mind
maybe we are more different than I ever imagined
maybe I'm just meant to be left behind
that is the only lot in life I seem to find

ok, I'll stop the pity party before it begins
I'm just feeling alone and wondering why
maybe we are much closer than I ever imagined
I just have too much time to wonder why
and I just don't want to be alone when I die

You know me as well as anyone around today
do you think anyone would be able to stay
with all my quirks and complicated thinking in my way
will anyone want me to be number one in their life's play?

There must be someone who could appreciate me
There must be someone who could put up with me
There must be someone who would fall in love with me
There must be someone who would want to stay

Am I too intelligent or just not smart enough?
Is it that I have no common sense?
Am I not to be trusted enough to be a partner?
My relationships are all in the past tense

Am I too demanding (if so, what am I demanding?)
Am I too easy to be taken for granted?
Am I just made for the friend zone for some reason (what's the reason?)
Why do I leave no one enchanted?

Maybe I don't project all the love I feel inside?
Maybe I don't seem as happy as I am?
I love life and everything and me and everyone
Why does no one seem to understand?

I can see the pain and suffering in every human heart
I can feel the devastation people to to each other
I can handle it but maybe nobody can today
Does my empathy scare people away?

I just want to share this life and love and everything
with someone who wants to share life and love with me
Will I ever find the one who can give the way I do?
I just don't want to die lonely.

There must be someone who could appreciate me
There must be someone who could put up with me
There must be someone who would fall in love with me
There must be someone who would want to stay
If you see her will you please send her my way?

Don't Care Out Of Guilt

If you are caring because you are told that caring is the right way to be you are wrong and should rethink your rationale.

Don't care out of guilt
don't let nobody shame you
don't care against your will
don't let nobody frame you

there is no doubt in true love
so if you are at all not sure
don't care because you think you should
that's not what caring's for

Who cares?
I care.
Who cares?
I care.

It gets so hard sometimes to do life all alone
Responsibilities can drag us down
All we want is for someone to say they've known
our struggle has been worth it all along

Don't care because you're told to
care because you want to
that is what caring is all about

you do it when you feel it
that's what makes it real, it
is something inside that must come out

Who cares?
You care.
Who cares?
We care.

If you don't have time
you find another way
to show you care
every single day

And when you don't
it's ok to say
that you don't care
don't pretend
don't defend
let it end
that's a friend

Don't care out of guilt
don't let nobody shame you
don't care against your will
don't let nobody frame you

there is no doubt in true love
so if you are at all not sure
don't care because you think you should
that's not what caring's for

Who cares?

Who cares?


Who cares?

Who cares?


Who cares?

Who cares?

sighing

when i was up I knew that i was worth a lot that i could love a lot and that that meant a lot and then I lost a lot more than i wanted to and can feel down a lot more than i want to sometimes... and if you don't care no one else will care and if you don't think you're worth anything nobody else will either for people tire of those with low self esteem so easily so remember that...

sighing...

a love that's true

a life of giving to others
and what have to show
a whole lot of good feelings
that nobody will know
unless i find another
who wants to care and share
all i've got are memories
when nobody is here

will someone stay someday
or will i die alone
will anyone be around
to put up a heastone
or simply cremate me
will anybody care
enough to do it right
who will be there?

a life of nurturing others
why will nobody stay
do i give or ask for too much
what drives people away?
i life this life to share
and take care of my friends
yet here i am alone again
will i be alone when it ends?

what is this life about?
am i doing something wrong
i give my all without a doubt
and still is sing a lonely song
does no one see that i
want someone to care for me
the way i care for others
unconditionally

maybe that is too much to ask
maybe i'm the fool for giving so much
maybe people just take advantage
and then leave when they get enough
maybe the kind of love i share
is not what others will give
are we not all one family
is that not why we live

a life of caring for others
and yet who cares for me
people come and go so fast
no one stays family
will i ever find an equal partner
who wants to share the way i do
to trust unconditionally
to share honesty, a love that's true

is that really too much to give
i don't want to change the way i live
i love how i share when i can share
i love how it feels to care
is that so hard to understand
i never want to close my hand
what's mine is yours, it's meant to be shared
i don't regret a single moment
or how i cared
or how i shared
and now alone again i wonder
is my reasoning impaired...

will i ever find an equal partner
who wants to share the way i do
to trust unconditionally
to share honesty, a love that's true
a best friend, a partner in all we do
sharing honestly, a love that's true

best friend

you have left my life
i don't see you anymore
you were not my wife
there were no locks on the door
we were just best friend
and now you have a lover
so i am alone
looking for another
best friend

so happy for you
but feeling sad and lonely
nothing left to do
but take care of me only
and that is not me
come closer and you'll discover
what i life for is
to take care another
best friend

my purpose in life
what makes me happiest
is to nuture someone
to share a little nest
unconditional love
even if it's not returned
i am living for the giving
even if i get burned

now another page has turned
and a new chapter begins
i collect all i have learned
weigh the losses and the wins
living with you all these years
i'm not close to many others
finding another best friend
is not so easy
not so easy
not so easy

anybody out there?

yes, this blog does not completely avoid the question do you care? as a reader or does anybody care? and ultimately, is anybody out there?... could be no one has ever read this blog since there is no proof in comments and i don't recall anyone ever mentioning it... but do i really write this blog for anyone outside of my head? (of course i do, if i didn't i would not be uploading entries).. how much is for me and how much is actually asking the title question for this blog is speculation or analysis for another time... this entry is asking, is anybody out there?...

kind of like harry chapin's town that made america famous...

and i wonder, who cares...

the question

this may have been written elsewhere, but who cares... it can be the basis for an entry here anyway, since i am feeling more loneliness lately than usual and pondering why and what to do about it and since loneliness comes from wanting someone to care, pondering why i am alone (in the blog world) is a start... it may be that i lack an audience because i enjoy irreverence (and word play leading to repetitive redundancy and parenthetic distraction) so much that i may appear to present as pretentious obscurantism...

perhaps i am just misunderstood...

but i do wander into wonder a lot and can easily be distracted by almost anything, even squirrels... or tv... and there are those profoundly meaningless questions that come to mind like why are brits afraid to smile... or why are so many humans so afraid of sex... of course meaninglessness, like pretentious obscurantism, is in the mind of the beholder... everything is always a matter of perspective and opinion, after all... except what we know for sure, that is... but don't mind me, i am still looking for empirical evidence of my own existence...

it only matters if you care, so the ultimate question is... do you care?... or...

who cares? :)

She Cares

omg, she can't believe it's happening again.
She gave her trust unconditionally to love and best friend.
She never though she'd be alone, writing this same old story rhyme.
Still wondering if it's all been wasted time.

Her dream is to share unconditional trust and all her love.
She lives to give everything she can, needs no god above
to tell her what to do or how to feel to know what makes life real.
Her heart is pure and innocent, her love is the real deal.

And nobody knows how deep her love goes.
And nobody sees all her fantasies.
And nobody shares the way she cares.
Cuz nobody dares to live without fear the way she can,
nobody understands.

She's what some would call and angel
and what others call a saint,
but she isn't into labels
and is does not want a plaint.

She wants the real thing
someone who can
share it all and more,
someone who is is out there with her
and knows what life is for.

Life is for sharing, she's got nothing to hide.
Life is for caring, keeping nothing inside.
Life is for giving, no lies of false pride.
Life is for living all the way until we die.
Life is for living, and she will until she dies.